While in the middle of a mental health crisis, I began exploring other creative outlets – such as photography, towards the end of 2014 in an attempt to get out of my head for just a bit.
Without getting into much detail, these were foreign feelings, and there was no handbook readily available to refer to while navigating through that trauma. So, I did what most men do – ignore them and hope they go away. When that didn’t work, and I was now drowning in them, I could no longer delay seeking help.
It was new territory for me, because for the 35 years prior, I never showed any noticeable signs or symptoms of depression and anxiety, but all that changed once the calendar flipped to 2014.
By now, I had just spent the previous year and a half touring my first documentary – “Guilty Til Proven Innocent” around the country, and handling more administrative type tasks. And, it was apparent there was an increidble absence in my life pertaining to being creative.
I knew I wanted to do something besides working with video because after working on a documentary for six years, and then another year and a half of exhibition and promotion, I knew I needed to separate myself from it and do something else more as a hobby.
I chose photography, which may seem odd for someone who works with video to not at the very least also work with photography, but up until the end of 2014 I didn’t take still images with my professional cameras. And, I struggled early on learning a DSLR camera, until one day it clicked.
Two years later in 2016, I was still experiencing a high level of anxiety and depression, but I was making time to continue learning this new(er) craft taking pictures throughout Cleveland. My favorites were visiting different reservations of the Cleveland Metroparks to capture nature, or walking the streets of Cleveland photographing urban decay.
The day I took the attached photographs, it was a cold winter Valentines Day; I spent 1.5-2 hours straight out in temperatures in the teens. When I returned to my car, I realized my face was numb and frozen snot formed out my nose. But, if you asked me while I was in those moments, I felt at peace for the first time in a long time while taking in this otherworldly scene Mother Nature created on the shores of Lake Erie. What a gift it was for someone in my position to witness.
This gallery of images were all taken on February 14, 2016.
